So I’m only three months late in reviewing my year of Breaking B.A.D, things snowballed back there leaving me with little time to sit down and write about everything.
I wasn’t in a great place when I started this blog, trying to work out how to manage the whole manic-depressive thing (Y’know, forever. No breaks. Nada) in such a way that I might spend less time at the far ends of the spectrum. Or at least enjoy the steady-as-she-goes in between times more. Turns out that the second part has been easier to achieve than the first part. But that’s probably not surprising. Most difficult to accept has been the fact that there’s only so much you can do – dodging the whole mood switching business is impossible. Yes, this is obvious. I know. Doh. However, by trying everything possible within the limits of my brains and budget I’ve actually been able to let myself off the hook a bit. Shock -horror, you can’t organise yourself a wee holiday from bipolar.
Writing this blog made me confront some of the things I had been trying to avoid facing down (such as the above) whether I included them in my ramblings here or not. I changed jobs, did battle with my sleeping pattern (ongoing…) and tried to shake off the bitterness that was creeping in – so many lost and broken opportunities man, you know that riff. I revisited some hobbies, started selling some doodles, took up some music work, kicked off exercising again and got a slice of mindfulness into my life. I’ve given up Ben & Jerry’s too *weeps* in the hope of getting into my summer clothes. A decision wrought as much by practicality as vanity -the moths in my purse have left because the conditions are so poor; purchasing a new wardrobe is not currently an option. Plus the spending blips of past-me mean that future-me will have plenty to wear. In about an inch I reckon.
I’ll have to shake things up again at some point so that the mice don’t ship out too for fear of starvation.
Overall things aren’t to B.A.D (ugh, sorry).
Toodlepip for now x