“S’up?”

supblue

These have been some busy times, I’ve visited over the last few weeks and then got waylaid halfway through writing a post.  In fact something is bound to distract me any moment now…No?  Phew.  I’ll keep going then.

I officially left my job at the end of August and since then have been drawing up a different sort of career plan.  Currently I’m marginally under-employed but building up hours slowly – I’ve been lucky enough to find work doing the things I love and am getting mildly entrepreneurial with some drawing stuff too.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty broke and I will need to get a ‘day job’  to keep things ticking over but I’m excited about work once more after feeling so miserable about it for so long.  You don’t realise how bad things have been until you begin to come out the other side.

If there’s been a challenge over the last month or so it’s been to hold my nerve and not simply hop back on to the treadmill – it would be easy to do, it’s what I have always done before – for short-term financial stability.  Writing this blog really made me look at the B.A.D patterns in my life, one of them is that I burn out super- fast under stress and take a long time to recover.  I’ve spent a lifetime railing against this, imagining that each new set of circumstances will yield a different result.  Like  banging your head against a brick wall and expecting it not to hurt if you do it enough.   So I’m trying out a new way of doing things.  If I end up eating sawdust-bread and living in a shoe box I will know that the old way was better.

So, October will continue to be a ‘hold-your-nerve’ challenge and I’ll be looking at research about how we break patterns and cycles and make changes.  Brain stuff an’ that.

In the meantime,

Peace x

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