Your doctor gives you a hug. Then calls the crisis team.
Let’s say it hasn’t been a good week.
Lack of sleep is probably the main cause of this nasty little turn, plus my usual medication messing with other medication. Add a few run of the mill frets and bad times are afoot.
Still, I’m feeling more ‘normal’ now and didn’t end up under a bus or at the bottom of a bottle (ha, I wouldn’t get more than a third of the way down anyway) although I did smoke half a cigarette then put it out because it was horrible. This depressed me too – I gave up smoking over a year ago but thought I could always go back to it if I ran out of vices. Damn.
Anyway, after I had finished bouncing off the walls with a mad sort of anxiety (Mixed state? You can keep it.) I had some interesting conversations and it does seem to be the consensus that I have become very ‘flat’ in the months since I started on Lamictal. Never mind the miserable side effects that seem to multiply over time. Luckily I have an appointment with the psychiatrist the first week of June (been waiting since November – ouch) and will see what other options there are. Carbamazepine was horribly lethargy-inducing …but it didn’t give me half the trouble Lamictal has.
To be honest I had more fun without the meds, which now seem to have a limited effect anyway. My mood-swings are shorter and not quite so extreme (mostly) but the price for that seems to be a flat- kind- of -half-life. *tiny string quartet*
However, it’s kicking out time at the pity-party now. Enough. Normal service will be resumed shortly.
In the meantime, and on the subject we can’t talk about *TW* I found reading this in the NY Times quite interesting, although the corresponding image is a bit…well take a look… And this *TW* which has an equally confusing cover- image but was quite comforting.
To better days…