I’ve been holding off writing anything for a few days. Life got in the way of art last week so I’ve nothing to offer…yet. To be honest I’m not at my best, not depressed as such, just a bit downhearted and sort-of- twitchy n’ anxious. Yes, pity me.
On a positive note, the fact that I haven’t been able to spend any time doing some of the good stuff has given me the final nudge I need to make some changes, or at least begin the process of making some changes.
Being creative isn’t just about ‘creating’ – there’s a contradiction, but stay with me – it’s to do with how we think, how we see and approach things. I used to put an awful lot of creative thought into my job, it’s the thing I loved best about it; finding new ways to do things, to make a-not-so-exciting thing interesting or fun… I felt that being able to do that maybe went some way to making up for the things I’m not so good at. Like doing exactly as I’m told all the time. *hangs head in shame*
It’s not that I don’t still put creative effort in to what I do, it’s more that the value of creativity has diminished and it makes me feel, well, sad. Trying to adapt has left me in a bit of a no-man’s land and I have all but lost my mojo. Whatever a mojo is.
This is not necessarily news to me, I’ve just been hand-wringing about what to do for the best.
What- to- do- for- the- best is likely to be a thing involving a bit of courage. Erk. Having spent a good deal of my life tidying up the mess of impulse-driven choices, I don’t always trust my own judgement. I have trouble with big decisions (and little ones…Carrot cake or chocolate cake? Coffee or tea? Argh! I don’t know! Why is the universe making me decide such a thing – what if I choose wrong?!). Now is probably the time to stop procrastinating. *Wibble* Perhaps I shall express my anxieties about the whole thing through the medium of interpretive dance as my creative effort this week.