I put myself to bed early last night with the beginnings of a migraine, I rarely suffer from these headaches but the fact that I remember each one I’ve had oh-s0-vividily is an indicator of how horrible they are. Those little sparkles at the edges of your vision, the blinding terror of daylight, the confusion over whether to be sick or die …argh… If you get them regularly, woah do I feel for you.
Anyway, as you can see I didn’t die. I wasn’t sick either but I do feel like I took a swinging punch to the face yesterday.
But what does this have to do with meditation? Stay with me now.
The last time I had a migraine was following an accident which mangled a disc in my neck. Cause and effect. I’m supposed to do little exercises to ease the referred pain this squishy little disc causes. Ha. I never remember to do those. I’ve got used to the faint buzz of it. I’m barely aware of it. Until now..
Yesterday during meditation Hmm what’s this? Is it…Pain? What if I just move my head…*crunch-yelp* Yes, that’s pain alright. Argh.
So, I carefully said some swears to ease it, then I thought that might not be enough better do that funny neck -thing the nice physio lady showed me. *snap-click-crunch-yelp-argh*
Cue slowly intensifying pain in head.
There is a strong possibility I was a bit over-zealous and re-introduced migraine into my life, which means I need to be more careful. Damn. it’s that balance thing again isn’t it.
See, as much as I was hoping to zen out and get all transcendental, mindfulness is not an incense, love and peace thing. Although you can have that too – you just have to bring your own. It’s about awareness. And awareness can be painful. Physically (check) and mentally. But if I’m aware that something is amiss then I can not only go poking about and making it worse (oops) but I can probably make it better too. Probably.
For what it’s worth, I took some painkillers after meditating today. This is called learning from your mistakes. It is the way I have learned most things I know. Eventually. Peace.